Social Media is a Highlight Reel
You’ve likely seen some of these pictures before. You maybe saw them and thought “what weirdos” but you also probably thought “they look happy and like they’re having fun”… and you’re not lying…but wanna know what all these pictures have in common?
They were taken on “fun trips” and “adventures” we MADE ourselves go on while drowning in the fear and anxiety of infertility. Each of these was taken before test results, after IUIs in the two week wait, after our retrieval (x2) waiting to know if any of our embryos were going to make it, while awaiting genetic testing and praying for “normal” results… and lastly, while waiting for the results of our transfer.
I share this on the last day of National Infertility Awareness week for two reasons…
1. If you’re going through this journey, don’t let it stop your life. It will try to. It would be SO EASY to stay home and wonder and pray and hope, but, in the pockets of “waiting” when you’re NOT seeing the doctor every other day, take the trip! See your friends! Go to the concert! Go out to eat! Do something fun local! You can wonder and pray and hope from absolutely anywhere, and these are days you’ll never get back.
2. Social media is a HIGHLIGHT REEL . Now sure, I was open and honest on each of these trips when sharing pictures etc… but I shared the happy moments. I didn’t share the tears in the hotel room, or my total meltdown in downtown San Antonio where I literally sat down on the curb and sobbed IN THE POURING RAIN after our ghost tour (the ONE thing we were looking forward to that weekend) was rained out. I didn’t take pictures when the lab called with results and I was a hot mess in the car with my best friend on the way to a Jonas Brothers concert in Nashville. You don’t see pictures of Bradford and I worried and praying that that tiny bit of blood is implantation bleeding and not my cycle starting… so, don’t for one second believe when people post a happy picture or trip their life is all rainbows and butterflies, and don’t ever forget to be kinder than necessary to EVERYONE, bc we’re ALL fighting SOME battle. & You are not alone.
PS: Special shoutout to the dear friends of mine who stepped in (when I was away from Bradford) and gave me shots even when I know they didn’t want to so I could keep living my life. You know who you are. And I love y’all for it. Because of y’all I got to make more memories— and you’re forever a special (and necessary) part of baby Grace’s life!
Each photo below has a backstory that I share under the image.
This was taken at our anniversary dinner- one day before we got our infertility results. We were a bundle of nerves and almost canceled our reservation.
Several times we went to San Antonio for the weekend to get away while awaiting results of our IUI. Most of the time we’d stay with my parents, but this picture is from a time we planned to stay downtown… it was a disaster. I ended up starting my cycle and we left the hotel to be with my family. God had a plan having us there then.
Our last IUI attempt (wait) we went to Kansas City to zip line and hunt some ghosts!
The night of the ghost hunt we kept getting “baby” and “mama” on our ghost radio app. I was so convinced I was pregnant. My cycle started the next day on the way to the airport. It was an awful flight home.
Sometimes we just hung out locally. This was a ghost hunt in Lewisville.
We tried so hard to fill the time. We had so much hope. This was after we had a fun time with Bradford’s parents in Grapevine. I had just found out I wasn’t pregnant from our last IUI and started IVF protocol that day. It was the first time we’d smiled in a while and had a good day, so I remember coming home and making Bradford take a picture with me to document it.
After our first retrieval we headed to Disney World! It was the absolute best place we could have been.
While we were there we got word that 3 of our embryos had made it to blasts and were going to be genetically tested. We knew if we got bad news, Disney was the place to be. Aaaannndd we knew if we got good news, Disney was ALSO the place to be.
After my second retrieval I took a trip to visit my bestie in Nashville! We saw the Jonas Brothers and it was just good to get away. On the way to the concert I got the call about our genetic testing. Of our 6 embryos, 2 were normal. One of those is Grace! Katy has given me shots in restaurant parking lots so I could go out to eat with her like a normal human.
Prepping for our transfer we took a trip to Savannah. We thought and prayed it would be our last time to travel before I was pregnant. We found a cat wine bar!
… and we did historical tours… and ghost hunts.
While waiting for transfer results Caroline came to visit me! We did a Denton day, bc who isn’t cheered up by that?!?
Kelley and I saw Eli Young Band in concert the weekend before I found out I was pregnant…
… and we got upgraded to VIP. It’s fitting Grace’s first concert was one of my favorite bands (and UNT alum). Kelley gave me my progesterone shot in the backseat of my car, parked far from other cars, with the Homecoming Bonfire in the background. Ah, memories! Ha!
