National Infertility Awareness Week

It’s National Infertility Awareness week, and while most of you know pieces of my story, I’d like to share more details, along with some new insight.

February 2021 Bradford and I sat at our kitchen table with my laptop open on a zoom call with my Reproductive Endocrinologist as she told us about all of our test results and my official infertility diagnosis. At this time, we had been through 12 months of “not trying, not preventing”, 9 months of “trying”, and 6 months of using Clomid prescribed by my OB to help us conceive. That’s 27 straight months of negative pregnancy tests.

My doctor said I had Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR), and that we had a very small likelihood of having a biological child. That we’d try 4 rounds of IUI and then need to move to donor eggs. That I wasn’t a good candidate for IVF from my drastically low egg count. The whole world stopped. I remember feeling speechless, yet full of questions. I remember feeling disbelief. I teared up, but held it together, because I had to be strong. I had to ask my questions and get my info. We got our next steps and ended the call, then I just collapsed. Bradford and I just cried. It felt like a horrible bad dream. All I had ever wanted in life was to be a mother.

If you’re reading this now, you know how our story took a drastic and wonderful turn. Today, one year and 2 months from my diagnosis, 3 IUIs, 2 egg retrievals and 1 transfer later, after being told I’d likely never have a biological child, I’m 27 weeks pregnant with our first biological miracle— via IVF (which we were also told would never be a possibility for us).

I share this for several reasons…

1- I don’t for one second believe that I’d be in this position without the power of prayer. I won’t deny that science is absolutely incredible and played an enormous part in this miracle, but I also can’t deny that I’ve never witnessed God make miracles happen in my life prior to this. I feel I have you all to thank for this. All of our family, all of our friends, and every single one of you who has ever prayed for us or wished us success. We went from no chance at IVF and so few eggs, to incredible growth and response from my follicles (eggs) and two successful IVF retrievals. THAT was a miracle right there.

2- I will never stop advocating for my friends to advocate for themselves. DO NOT wait years of trying to seek help. DO NOT tell yourself “it will just happen” if your gut is telling you otherwise. You know your body. You know your history. Painful, super light/heavy, irregular periods aren’t normal, and are many times your first indication early on that something may be off (even though you’ll be told that’s just “YOUR normal” ). Your OB will never offer you to have your AMH tested. It’s a simple blood test that you can have ordered to help you plan ahead. This can help predict your ovarian reserve (eggs). This is just one test, but THE test that determined my diagnosis (and the diagnosis of several friends of mine since sharing). Just listen to your gut, make the appointments, and ask for the tests.

3- My life is forever changed. 14 months ago when I shared my diagnosis with you all I shared it so I could take the “mask” off. I never shared with the intentions of continuing to share this journey, or educate my friends on the infertility process. The incredible outpouring of love and support and interest in infertility I received was overwhelming in the very best way. Your comments, questions, messages, bravery sharing your own stories about your struggles, or now feeling like you had insight to help someone else through theirs kept me going on my hardest days. I feel like my life has new purpose— and I don’t quite know what that means for my future, but I don’t ever want to stop advocating for infertility, reproductive rights, and helping others through their journey. Y’all suggested I share this journey, so maybe down the road one of y’all will also have the perfect “job” idea for me, too. Who knows!

4- As I mentioned earlier, it’s National Infertility Awareness week. 1 in 8 couples experience infertility. That could be you reading this, your coworkers, neighbors, your best friend, your future son or daughter. It may also be the family you see at church or school who looks happy and “complete”, yet they’re battling secondary infertility. Please be mindful of this always. Never ask someone when they’re going to have kids, why they don’t already, if they’re going to “try for a boy/girl”, etc. Don’t make assumptions. You really never know how deep those “simple” questions can cut.

We have 3 more perfect (in our eyes) little embryos frozen in time. Doctors recommend having 3 embryos per every live birth you desire. We hope to add another precious person to our family after Grace gets here, but that’s another chapter of our story for another day. In a perfect world, we’ll be able to compete our family AND have the opportunity to help others struggling with infertility have THEIR happy ending through donation/embryo adoption.

I’ll be sharing more throughout the week with the hopes that I’m able to help even just one more person through this. As always, thank you for your support. And if you’re reading this and going through infertility, or just have questions— my inbox is always open.

You can find me here: facebook.com/courtneyziggy